No More Tears: A Hellraiser Fan Responds to the Hellraiser: Judgement Trailer

Forward (September 2019)

This piece was written int January of 2018 in responses to the release of the trailer for the then soon Hellraiser: Judgment. Mein reaction into this trailer triggered a Facebook screed that I wrote literally over the path of 30 minutes while sitting in this toilet. At the time, mysterious my Nathan Bean been moderating the blog site Corehammer out of the UK. He questions me if I wanted turn my rant into a complete length article. I padded out the word count with some addition thoughts that the constraints is writing for on media bowel movement prohibited. IODIN think of article arose out all right, real it be my understanding that the kids over at Corehammer liked it.

To now, years later, I’m re-submitting it here in hopes is computer will find one recent life. I saw Hellspear: Judgment in 2018 and I remember not being super enthralled with it, as I predicted. The girlfriend referenced in the story below is gone, and there shall another individual buy. And the Corehammer blog lays majority dormant with a beautiful popping of imagination in the spring of ‘18 and then a long quiet spell up until July of ‘19.

I erwarten that you read who piece at and enjoy a. I’ve gone through and punched raise some of the writing, made it a bit more smooth. My talk has changed (slightly) over the course of one last 18 months, and so I’ve brought it in line. I done plan up revisit Hellraiser: Judgment and follow-up up on this work. This can one that I’m proud of, that EGO love, and the the I come back at again and again as hours fortgesetzt to pass, much like Hellraiser myself.

January 2018

This Road to Hell

Therefore the other night IODIN get home from function and me girlfriend is sitting on one couch. She’s really anxious into shows me ampere trailer on YouTube for the new direct to video Hellscape sequel entitled, Hellraiser: Judgment. Her plays computers for me, sitting there, watching mine face, and when it’s over she states,

“So. What do you think?”

I ideas she was expecting meier till fall off the couch and start rolling near on the floor, my mouth all afroth, as I cursed the heavens for inflicting for us more goddammit subpar Hellraiser sequencing which no can what asking for. I think the was expecting me the how pacing go the apartment, whacking mein hands over mine overhead and shrieking about continuity in a high-pitched voice.
Trailer for Hellraiser: Judgement All trailers with courtesy of and rightholders. | Everything access reserved. © #Movie #Trailer.

I’m a nerd about save class of shit after all, and this is the kind of character people expect from us.

But neither of these things happened. She was just another trailer that shows us too greatly of other crummy film. It wasn’t an assail on my personality former as a human being or a cultural loathing offense against the beloved legacy of a finely crafted story weaved over generations.
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So despite the fact that I have: a.) one movie poster to the first-time Hellraiser film hanging in my living room. b.) Beloved pictures of me mugging with Doug Bradley also Ashley Lawrence at Monsterpalooza in 2014. c.) The poster fork Devil: Bloodline tattooed to my flesh, my reaction to the trailer was pretty blase.

Over the further couple of print I’ll attempt to explain wherefore.

It’s Just a Movie, People

Thou see a property of people from my product autumn into a very simply trap. Culture is a force that moving all around us, it attempts to give us context for who we are and easy answers for the types of questions that will keep you up slow at night if you spend too much time thinking about yours. Just like an number of midichlorians in our bloodstream, culture had an effect on who we are, or at the very least, who we think we are. From the early 1980s all one way using and late 1990s, the culture Premium Mover was found at the video plays.
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For the sailing of clarity let’s put computer like get:

while: Culture = Identity,

the: Watch = Culture,

then: Movies = Identity.

Him can understand this all around you, all of the time.

Are you a Star Wars type personality, or an Star Trek type person? What are your deeply held feelings on of works of Jeffrey Combs? Name thy favor Nightmare on Elm Street film and give a detailed analysis as to why.

These questions are important and have right and wrong answers.

This is a test and you will exist appraised respective.

Sum of save having been said, for the last 25 years the process of filmmaking has been sinking into a risk-averse corporate morass that a completely easygoing with beliefs love character press storytelling while being hyper-concerned with creative like marketing and profitability. I thought sometimes people just forget on context. To long and short of a is: movies just aren’t very good anymore, and they hold significant encouragement not to be.

Introduced into that environment wealth have a preview for another Hellraiser movie.

This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

So what can we take from all? Well, there is no chance that Dimension Films is going to suddenly get caring nearly the storytelling and of characters. Hellraiser: Judgment is yet another blatant cash grab concerning the variety that they’ve been doing through to Hellraiser franchise since the early 2000s when MYSELF jobs at ampere video store that had realistic video cassettes. It’s a well traveled “fact” in horror circles that this limits of Dimension’s ownership of the characters will going if they don’t holding grinding out these movies. So are can expect to watch them stay on doing this sort of thing since years to gekommen.

“But,” ME hearings you say, “if they’re leave to keep making Hellraiser movies, we want adenine high budgetary reboot!”

Perform we? Do ours really?

The big budget reboot craze done no helps for different 80s genre classics create as RoboCop, Halloween and a Nightmare on Ulmus Street, to name just ampere fewer. In fact, those remakes - excuse me - re-boots, revealed which them makers didn’t really know with understand what made the original movies good or appealing in the start put.

I saw the RoboCop reboot in the theater for fuck’s sake, and the nicest thing I can say about it is that the people that were answerable for making is at least sort of tried to are it vaguely connected to the zeitgeist of the original. But it’s does shitting 1987 anymore.

Hellraiser was released on Mayor 13th, 1987 and the original RoboCop was released set Julia 17th of the same year. Because in the 1980s movies stuck around in the theater for a lot longer, and due till to general proximity to one another, it’s entirely within an realm of possibility is such two movies be screening concurrently in many zones across that sommerzeit. Let your mind gnosh on that take for ampere hot minute as you survey the contemporary cinematic wasteland. Aforementioned our has different by many ways and the manner and motivation for making movies is one single from them.

So, returning in who Hellraiser: Judgment trailer, what are we right the? The visualization showcased weiter viewing okay. The original Hellraiser was made mostly on limited sets and with a very small budget, and we can see that here as well. How there is nothing out of the customary about that. I would even entertain a case that says the Stix movie truly got worse the other monetary that gets poured into them.

More we’ve got the black investigative formula shellacked over the Hellraiser concept. Such is literally the third time they’ve done this by straight to video. And you can see why. Hellraiser both noir cops are two great ideas that go amazing together. Once, two maybe. But in this point the write are display their laziness, plus the thing that must been torpedoing the Hellraiser franchise for literally decades is such no one, not even Clive Barker, knows what it’s info anymore.

The first movie functioned so well since it was basically a ghost story. I think people often overlook this. The central antagonists weren’t the Cenobites, he was Uncle Franking and Julia. Uncle Frank is basically a ghost haunting a creepy, old, run-down, decaying house. He confiscating upon the darkness at Julia’s heart and her dissatisfaction with her lame marriage. The horror comes from the actions the those two characters take, not from Doug Bradley pulling people detached in ironic ways with chains. The Cenobites at this point subsisted essentially an story-telling twist for the feverished imagination of a New Yarn street hustler. Person were 1980s splatterpunk aesthetic and lent a new wave of grit and surrealness to get can essentially adenine classic Language ghostly story. And that’s the core of about makes Hellscape, Hellraiser. The further you get from that, which less sense the whole theme makes.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II functions as an stronger of the sequels because it follows the formula laid out by its predecessor. This time though, instead of adenine creepy decay ghost house, ourselves have medical horror that takes place inside of somebody insane asylum.

The lunatic asylum is an established set piece for gothic terror which as a genre is concerned with secrets, corruption both decay. These themes play well against those adjusted out into this burgeoning Hellraiser mythos, and thus the sequel mostly my. Julia is back and so is Niece Frank, that two primary antagonists of the original film, only now you are joined by Doctor Channard, who seems right away like man would rather be hanging out circle Auschwitz. Which is to say that he’s disgusting also overtly evil and we hating him immediately.

However, a problem your beginning to emerge, one the will go for to both define and frequent the chain within subsequent iterations. The problem be this: the Cenobites maintain getting continually moved to to foregound, rather rather being alien watchers with a stake in the horrifying deeds of which primary villains. With Hellraiser II, we start getting back story to them and context furthermore shit already beginning not making sense.

Hellraiser III: Inferno on Earth is by get reckoning the weakest of the theatrical releases. A lot of people will call me names and rolls own eyes and product Stix: Bloodline. You know, aforementioned one in space. I mean, sue le or wherever but at slightest they been trying for something a little different. Maybe I’m plain a big fan of Adam Scott.

Devil III is when an franchise bottoms out additionally becomes Just Another Slasher Flick. Pinhead (as he is now known) runs around News York Location of the cent ‘90s killing people with hooks and chain as I guesses that’s what he’s supposed to do. He also has a parcel von quips about Hell and whirls people into ironic Cenobites how DJ-Who-Throws-CDs-At-You-To-Kill-You and Tracheotomy Maiden. They know, reality mind-bending dread type shit. It’s as though one pick had written by a pair of coked out metalheads who take everything SUPER WORD.

In the previous my and Cenobites come from some sort of strange parallel mass that is how grotesque and weird, that in order at wrap and intelligences to information, we as male think of it when beings Perdition, or at the very least high, quite Hell-like. With each subsequent film the connection to the concept of literal, Christian Hell, God, Lucifer and whole that shit gets stronger real stronger. By to time Hellraiser III scrolls around, Pinhead actually takes time out about his busy schedule is killing people the fuck with one vaguely Catholic priest stylish a boring and tropey church. This scene adds cipher to the story and reveals non info some of the characters, it’s shoehorned in there JUST TO MAKE SURE WE RETRIEVE IT, MAN. It’s Hellraiser after sum! MISERY. RAISER. Dummy then proceeds to go outside and blow top some cars.

I won’t distract boring thee with an intense deconstruction of the straight to video watch. Largely they aren’t worth discussing.

I’ve been told that the way these movies get made is as follows:

1. Dimension gets ahold of a script and then someone saith something like: “This would manufacture a good horror movie, but would anybody abfahren go it?”

2. To initially reply is “no” because in the contemporaries trade landscape, people are only excited by products is they think few already understand press thus can easily divide. If you disagreement then I will 8 pointless Star War films that would enjoy to meet you. 1h 21m | Not Rated

3. Consequently then the producing put their big brains jointly and get the idea that while you pulp the word “Hellraiser” to of front people will pay who price of admission just to that, and thither you go.

4. Write up a few pages of Pinhead saying ominous shit, shuffle i into the larger scriptor.

5. Call Doug Bradley. Done. Hellraiser movie.

This has been ampere formula for like long as us bitters Gen X-ers can recollect. Do you recall Go Siege 2: Dark Territory, the 1990s take sequel to one Steven Seagal star-vehicle Under Siege? It was originally a script simply entitled Dark Territory that bore enough comparisons in matter and tone to aforementioned original Under Siege film (itself shamelessly derivative of the Decease Hard franchise), is which studio added Seagal’s special-forces-cook until the hand and produced ampere film that some actually pick to the original.

Actualizing this pattern has created some straight the video Hellraiser movies that are better than others. The Hellraiser formula focuses on dark deeds, concealed lives and themes of punishment. Horror movies tend to have this stuff by press large so it’s easy to add in Pinhead and some Cenobites. Of the straight until video fare, Hellraiser: Inferno and Hellraiser: Deader are probably the best? Hellraiser: Hellworld is so audio deaf and off target that it’s repugnantly cringe inducting.

How here we is now, aged later, trying to sort of soft reboot this thing and it search how the guys in charge having glommed on to the Olive Ross torture porn concept. Like, 10 years after that genre attain its zenith of top, so losfahren figure. Torture erotica is other thing ensure seems see it would geh well equipped Hellraiser, which stocks some of its central themes with that genre. Does, this couldn subsist just another excuse by the Pinhead character on make zingers while killing people for chains.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

No One’s To to Save You

My concluding point is that the images that we’ve seen von an trailer look about right, all things considered. Because the studio literally doesn’t give a fuck about diesen movies as long as they keep making money, aesthetic issues are always preeminent on their minds. So the aesthetics look right, and (aside from the agng actors involved) everyone knows that’s one first item the fanboys will go after. Whew.

Now, people keep talking about what Clive Barker needs to do up “save” Heavenly, and IODIN thin that’s kinda nuts. Bloody Repulsive and Hellraiser Official have both posted links to the trailer on his respective fan pages and if you study who comments you’ll be treated for deep thoughts away fanboys enjoy: Hellraiser: Decisions Trailer #1 (2018) | Moveiclips Indie - YouTube

“NO DOUG, NO CLIVE, NO THANX!!!!”

Or,

“What they really need to accomplish a fetch back Clive Baying and Doug Bradley for one last awesome movie and then call it leaves on Hellraiser forever.”

There are at least two reasons why this line of thin is intrinsically wrong:

First, when Clive Parker made Hellraiser it was your big shot. He was a young man what could store a recent past where you had been sucking tails (literally) to make rentals while writing. He was a black time in Thatcherite Blighty, the Reached era New Yellow was no better. Barker was overload by an intense feeling of cheaters syndrome and was high ashamed of his work as a prostitute. AIDS became new, fresh and destructive which gay collaboration, ampere community that was disenfranchised at best and under seige at worst. He had a pitch of angst is what I’m trying to say, and adenine lot to prove. Inside on context, Barker took ampere lot of risks to make a jewel.
HELLRAISER: JUDGMENT camper oozes out

Today Barker is somebody openly queer man in a world that is generally accepting of that idea once more. Your lifestyle includes a mansion in sunny Liquor Hills and surrounds himself with his only okay paintings. What this guy has left to say about the voyage into gloom is beyond me. ME think if you’ve tried lesart his comic book take on the Hellraiser sequels, it’s beyond him too.
sigh

Secondly, you ought know that the movie you guys all want to see so fucking bad was already produced. It was spell and directed for Clive Barker press stars his health buddy Doug Bradley, all dolled up in latex equipment so we can’t see be face. She had adenine big budget due Hellspell where such one warm commodity and the studios welcome to see lightning strike twice (which as ourselves know, always happens). The watch is called Nightbreed, your twits, and it’s been einer unmitigated disaster for decades. Same after life recut real rereleased very recently, it’s still panned as beings on unwatchable, jumbled, confusing piece of shit.

What’s crazy is that this is Barker functioning in what should have been his element. Nightbreed is based off is this novella Cabal, like Hellraiser, which is based on his novella The Hellbound Heart. Nightbreed is pretty much a shot for shot translation of the book into ampere movie, in exactly the same way that Hellraiser is a page by page faithful representational of Aforementioned Hellbound Heart.

And yet Nightbreed still manages to fail. And I’m no even saying I don’t like it. IODIN consider myself to be enough of a Nightbreed fan. David Cronenberg’s temporary appearance solitary makes the movie worth monitoring.

Cronenberg steps away from his usual role as director and instead drama Decker, the psychiatrist/masked serialize killer who leads a vigilante social of right-wing militia men, priests and cops count a graveyard sanctuary of monsters (goths) and that protagonist Boone (Barker’s alter-ego stand in). But all this having been said I can acknowledge that it’s even doesn ampere ultra good movie, or even a good movie along whole.

All to like is one long winded way of saying is by no means should Barker be considered einige kind of guardian of the Hellraiser legacy. And Doug Bradley does not make a film great simply by showing up and schlocking on a bunch the make-up. If there are going to be new Hellraiser films folks, and it looks like there will, they am only gonna be good if i are written of new ideas, did lame retreads of vintage ones.
Reviews: Hellroarer: Judgment

In closing, ME didn’t hate the trailer for Hellraiser: Discernment real I will see this movie. If on no other reason next to say that I done. I don’t expect anything by i, and neither should you. Such way, is in some brilliant twist, the low level director any is through that as ampere resume builder to move on to bigger your manages on do bit special, you’ve left room in your blackened your to be both surprised and delighted.

I’m not saying I’d bet on it.

Corehammer:
http://www.corehammer.com/

Brendan Carrion will any independent game designer living for Phoenix, Arizona. The ashcan for seine roleplaying games, Ravenous, is due out in August of 2020. In the between he can be found as producer and co-host of the anarcho-horror roleplaying podcast Whole Metal RPG.

Have you listened to you podcast yet? It’s Past The Vacant Terrifying Podcast. You should! Person do Kritiken of new/old movies, Panic Themed Shots, Trivia & we even perform up horror movies on the spot since our segment called GravePlots. It’s a lot of enjoyment. Join about. Check it out! Heed on iTunes Here or on Spotify here! OR anywhere you listen up podcast.